I am not color blind, and I am definitely not an alien. My journey with infertility was filled with tears, pain, heartbreak, and deep low self-esteem. Every cycle of IUI/IVF would lift my hopes, only for the negative result to break me into pieces. Every well-meaning Aunty or acquaintance asking how long I had been married and how many children I had would send me into the depths of feeling incomplete… less than.
I was surrounded by friends and family, and a husband who supported me beautifully, yet I still felt so alone. The darkness and heavy pain that enveloped my heart every time I got my period felt thick and unending.
HENCE, THE BLUE PERIOD.
I know what it’s like to live with the million thoughts running through your head when you’re trying hard to get pregnant. Six years of trying, struggling, and hurting.
Then, in February 2010, I experienced my first bout of morning sickness. Nine months later, I held my gorgeous baby girl in my arms.
Looking back, would I want to do it differently with the consciousness I have today?
YES.
Yet, I wouldn’t change a thing. It made me the woman I am today.
I realized the power of my thoughts.
I discovered my strength to endure pain.
I was humbled by the experience.
I began my journey of spirituality.
I embraced faith in the universe to give me what I desire.
I learned patience.
I experienced letting go and letting God.
I realized it was all for my highest and greatest good, even though at the time it didn’t feel like that.
The perfect time for me to have her was when I had her… not a moment late.
Every life lesson has helped me shine my light brighter.
